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5 Reasons Zuck Didn’t Consult You re. the Chan Zuckerberg Initiative

on Dec 9, 15 • by • with No Comments

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photo by Jason McELweenie

photo by Jason McELweenie

You’re clearly upset about Mark Zuckerberg contributing his $45 billion self-made fortune to improve the lot of all humanity. You’ve made it plain that his attempt to cure diseases and educate billions is self-serving, presumptuous and manipulative (just like his evil scheme to connect the world by building Facebook in the first place!).

Most of all, however, you’re upset because Mark and Priscilla established the Chan Zuckerberg Initiative without asking you what they should do with the windfall that came from monetizing your eyeballs, photos and games of Candy Crush!

You’re hurting. And that must be hard.

But Mark is a pretty busy guy. So maybe it will make you feel better to read the following five reasons that didn’t hear from him…

5. He lost your number.

4. Was totally calling you then he hit one of those cell dead zones on I-280. (damn you, Verizon!

3. Couldn’t decide if he should listen to you whine or focus on the 1.5 billion people who use the product he invented. Chose the latter.

2. He remembered that you’re the kind of person who thinks politicians care less about being re-elected than they do about near-impossible, long-term solutions to global questions like:

  • “How do we revolutionize education?”
  • “How do we eradicate disease?”
  • “How do we lift the world’s bottom 2 billion out of extreme poverty?”

1. Your opinion about what he and his wife do with their money counts for jack-shit.

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