1. Get a Colonoscopy.
If you’re just going to lie there, why not get screened for colorectal cancer? It is the 3rd most common cancer in both men and women, and hey, you might even enjoy it (the ‘oscopy, not the cancer).
2. Clip Your Toe Nails.
If you’re as reckless with your personal hygiene as you are with your time-management, you’ve likely got some big yellow-y toe nails that need your attention. Don’t just sit there – go clip them. You’ll feel really productive.
3. Smoke Some Crack
You obviously have the time, so go ahead and make it interesting! You’ll make new friends and drop a few pounds in the process!
4. Check “Who’s Viewed Your Profile” on LinkedIn
Are your ears ringing? That means someone is looking at your LinkedIn profile.
Maybe it’s someone who wants to hire you! What if it’s an old girlfriend/boyfriend who has never gotten over you? (oooh – that would be exciting!) Perhaps it’s even a Nigerian King who has a winning lottery ticket worth $7 million!!!
Go ahead and click on Who’s Viewed Your Profile – afterall, you haven’t checked it in almost 45 minutes.
5. Invite Your Friends to Play CandyCrush
Surely there’s a guy you barely knew high school and haven’t even spoken to in 22 years who would like to join you in the rabbit-hole time-sink that is social gaming. Go ahead and invite him to play. If he doesn’t respond, keep inviting him until he un-friends you.
6. Read a book / Play with your kids / Watch a good movie / Do some exercise / Visit family / Call an old friend
“Hey, I’m a working parent – where would I possibly find the time to do any of this stuff?”