I’d really like to write about how much I love the new Jawbone BIG JAMBOX.
I would so love to tell you how the rich bass rumbles my bones and the highs are crisper than a crisp cracker on a crisp autumn day.
I’d totally love to share how the bluetooth lets me take my music anywhere and turn any gathering into a big-freakin’ party.
But I can’t write any of this. Because I don’t have one.
I would think that the good and attractive people at Jawbone would want a crazy-influential tech/media blogger like me to have one of these beautiful pieces of audio engineering mastery so that I could tell my massive, affluent and early-adopting readers to go buy one.
If I could afford one.
Crazy me to think that this kind of glowing, passionate review would be especially valuable now, just before the Q4 gift-giving onslaught that makes or breaks corporate earnings and marketing careers. Careers like that of Jawbone’s Director of Marketing, Michael Williams.
I guess I would think that Williams – who I am sure is a good and very smart person – would put some efforts toward getting someone like me talking about his product’s vast superiority over upstart bluetooth audio products like Beats by Dr. Dre’s new Pill speaker, which is almost certainly inferior to BIG JAMBOX’s huge sound and completely wireless experience.
Or maybe it isn’t. How would I know?
Maybe Beats’ Pill is pretty good (their headphones are amazing, after all). Perhaps Beats is closing the gap in this category that Jambox invented and should be protecting with life-preserving zeal.
And perhaps Beats’ VP Marketing Omar Johnson understands the importance of wildly-enthusiastic reviews from a savvy and handsome media/tech observer with a cutting sense of humor and thinning-but-stylish hair.
I’m just sayin’.
After all, this is the age of social media, where a brand’s message is not controlled by the marketer, merely launched and guided (if possible). Maybe Johnson appreciates how valuable the actual tactile and aural experience is in getting a reviewer to drive the social conversation toward his product away from BIG JAMBOX (the price of which far exceeds my monthly budget for audio gadgets).
Maybe at this very moment Mr. Johnson is telling his assistant to email me at Paul@BannerAdConfidential.com to find out where she can send a Pill for me to use, enjoy and publicize to the thousands of passionate readers of my hugely successful and rabidly-followed blog.
I can’t say that he’s definitely doing this. But he might be.
So while I could extoll the virtues of BIG JAMBOX’s built-in speakerphone capabilities and LiveAudio 3-D sound technology, I might not be able to. And while I might even mention that it comes in three stylish colors (Graphite Hex, Red Dot, and White Wave) it’s not clear that I will.
I could really only do this if I actually had one in my possession. One that I wouldn’t feel the need to return. Ever.
I might even offer the rhetorical question if they could afford to not buy one.
But I guess I won’t. Unless I get one. In Graphite Hex, please.