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Job Listing: Strategic Client Manager (Salesperson), Top Social Media Site

on Jan 24, 13 • by • with No Comments

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Metrics? What metrics?

Role:  Strategic Client Manager will develop paid-advertising relationships with region’s top marketers despite Social Media Site’s reluctance to allow advertising on its property.

Responsibilities:

  • Prepare and deliver sales presentations that conflate the scale of social media with tangible value to the marketer (alternatively, assume both that the value of social media is self-evident and that clients are stupid if they don’t necessarily agree).
  • Selectively ignore clients’ unreasonable requests for “accountability” and “insights.”
  • Stare in wonder as clients explain there is “no available budget” for social, while they still somehow manage to find tens-of-millions of dollars for print.
  • Willingly delude self that Social is more important than Search to achieving marketers’ short-term marketing/sales goals (i.e., the only ones that matter in the current economic environment).
  • Nod thoughtfully and feign comprehension while agency personnel mention DSP’s and RTB.
  • Presume non-existent level of friendship with female marketing executives/hug after meeting despite body language indicating you should absolutely do otherwise.
  • Express great incredulity/use “F-word” when your manager asks why clients haven’t g0tten back to you yet.
  • Mitigate disdain of engineering colleagues by admitting upfront that they are way smarter than you are.
  • Low-ball quarterly revenue forecasts.
  • Keep mouth shut at company-wide all-hands meetings.

Requirements:

  • B.A. or B.S. from a not-completely-embarrassing college.
  • Ability to consume massive quantities of alcohol without sharing your true feelings toward those around you.
  • 5+ years experience selling another interactive media product that we will, as part of our sales process, ridicule incessantly.

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